I’m generally not into drinks–I’m a closet homebody and I love holing up with a good read. But for one reason or another, I found myself drinking quite frequently recently. But alcohol drives my skin (plus my sleep cycle, my weight and my wits) absolutely bonkers. You know it your skin gets tired and sallow the next day. So with my 1-year experience, here is my guide to getting skincare done while you are at different stages of intoxication.
1. Cleanse, Double Cleanse
You’ve puked more times than you can count. In the cab, in the lift, you don’t know where else. Deep down you know you’ve been an utter embarrassment in front of everyone (you can’t be arsed to care). You’re still mostly upright. Leaning against the bathroom wall is a comfortable position. You don’t want to move (move).
You probably have layers of makeup and falsies (Ewwww). Get those off with a cleansing balm or oil. You probably forget how to emulsify oils properly. Just don’t fall asleep at your sink and don’t gouge your eyes out.
If you are still upright by the end, reach for that low pH cleanser. Don’t whine, you bought it for the convenience. Pump it once and the bubbles are readymade. Muck the foam around your face and wash it off.
Now you can fall into the puddle that you have made on the bathroom floor and go to sleep.
Be ready to mop off the mess of oils, foam and your tears of regret from the floor the next morning.
2. Potent Anti-oxidant Serum
You’ve had four drinks. You made it home on your own in a cab. You almost puked (it is thanks to that terrible driver), but you kept your dinner in. But you had too much work and too little sleep in the past week (month, year, years) and you feel like you can sleep for 48 hours straight. You don’t want to look at yourself in the mirror because Asian flush is ugly and you’re already your worst judge.
Clean your face, you’ve done it when you were dead drunk, you can do it now.
As much as you love alcohol, your skin hates it. Apologise. Feed it the clinically tested and scientifically proven anti-oxidant serum. For goodness sake, remember to screw the cap tight afterwards. It is worth 8 hours of painstaking and sometimes mind-numbing work and you don’t want light and oxidation to get to it before it gets to your skin.
Important reminder: Stay away from any acid at this point. Can you trust yourself not to get any of the pH 3.8 stuff into your eyeballs? I don’t trust you when you say yes, because drunk people say yes to everything. Save it for the next morning when you open your eyes with a splitting headache.
3. Emollient Moisturiser
You’re still up? Good! Time to seal off the expensive serum. Get that jar of moisturiser that you’ve been buying on repeat this year. It is a jar of buttery goodness, and it reminds you of all the delicious, fatty food you’ve sworn off for the sake of your coronary arteries (it is your bloody figure, really, who are you kidding). Slap it on and let it melt into your skin like a piece of tender pork belly on your tongue. Arhhhhh.
4. Sleeping Pack
If you’re at this step, you have only had two drinks, or the alcohol has worn off. You either feel terribly lonely or lightheaded from the lovely conversation. Either way, the sleeping pack fits because it is an additional layer of occlusive. It feels like another layer of warm blanky on your skin and you feel cocooned. The sleeping pack smells like ginseng, ginger and you find the medicinal smell comforting.
You can fall into bed and wrap yourself in the real warm blanky now.
And then maybe you can take out your phone and start writing crap on your WordPress app. ೕ(˃̵ᴗ˂̵ ๑)
(For clarification of doubt, Scenario 1 is imagined 😉